This time around I'm going to post part of Dear Abby's response to a letter. Lately I haven't even read her response, but this time I feel she's enabling entitled people.
Here's where you can read her full responses. And here's a bunch of people who think the world revolves around them: DEAR CRABBY: For the last few years my family has rented the same beach condo. My friend "John" and his family have joined us there on many occasions. When I asked him his vacation plans for this year, he informed me last night that he has rented the beach condo for the same weeks we have historically occupied it. I was floored. I think a more appropriate approach would have been for him to have called me first and expressed his interest in renting it, but he should not have rented the unit if it conflicted with our vacation plans. I understand the free marketplace -- first-come, first-served -- but I can't help feeling he undercut me. -- CONFUSED IN TENT AT THE BEACH Dear Confused, Did you ever think that maybe they wanted to rent that beach condo, and every year YOU rented it first? This isn't the first consecutive year you have tried to rent it. Maybe the reason they joined you was to try to get close to that spot they've wanted for years, you selfish bastard. Other people get vacation times as well, and instead of whining about how "he got it first" (with your apparent understanding of free market yadda yadda), you could be an adult, wish them a good holiday, and hey!: Maybe YOU could join THEM. The fact is, if you can't share the toy, maybe you don't deserve it. Get your head out of your ass and look at this as an opportunity: now instead of going to the same place and doing the same thing you always do, you could try something different, like growing as a person instead of being a spoiled child. (Dear Abby wrote: " Your feeling is 100 percent accurate. That weasel DID undercut you, and real friends don't act that way. Now that you know what he's capable of, contact the landlord and make a long-term deal in advance if you want that unit in the future." Dear Abby? You are part right; real friends do not act that way. Confused is the "weasel" for thinking that friendship means he gets his way all the time. His friend doesn't have to ask permission to rent something that's available to everyone, and all you are doing is introducing tit-for-tat mentality and encouraging vindictiveness instead of communication.) DEAR CRABBY: I am a lonely 83-year-old woman. All I want is someone to love me, preferably a handsome, wealthy man who will spoil me. I have spent my entire life making other people happy, and now all I want is some happiness back. I mean, can't an older woman get some loving, too? I have been told I'm charming. I have the laugh of an angel, a full head of blond/gray hair and a slim figure. I would like a man (preferably in his elderly years) who is lonely and needs some company. And also someone who wants to spend his savings on me. Abby, help me find my soul mate. -- WAITING FOR "GOT-DOUGH" Dear Waiting, If this letter is real, then you are still fake. Clearly there is a reason why you are alone. If you actually were loving and giving, someone would have seen that by now. You've been told you are charming and have the laugh of an angel? Is this what you think "making other people happy" means? Being charming simply means you were polite enough to help people forget you were getting your own way. I'm thinking that anyone who has a decent life savings did it by investing in things that will get them a healthy return. You seem like a money pit. You want someone who is elderly and wants your company? I suggest the Devil. He's been around a while, and you'll be meeting him soon enough. I'm sure he'll lavish all his attention on a money grubbing old witch like you. I wonder why we should "respect our elders", when stupid people get old too. DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law is having a baby. My mother and I told her we would have a shower for her. She registered at a local store for baby gifts, let us start planning the shower, and then informed us that she would not be opening gifts at the party. My son has sided with her. He said he didn't know her reason, but felt like it was no big deal. Why would she act that way? We think it's peculiar. The shower has now been canceled at her request. -- MYSTIFIED IN CALIFORNIA Dear Mystified, Is this shower for you to show off, or for your daughter-in-law? Why is it a big deal that she open gifts in front of people? This seems suspicious to me, and a little like you also need to cut the apron strings a little. You wrote that your son sided with her (meaning you approached him to get her to change her mind), but didn't even commend him for sticking with his wife through thick and thin. Do you not realize how great that is?! He doesn't even need to know her reasons, he just supports her. But you were too busy getting bitchy because he sided with her and not you. Sounds to me like the reason you are mystified is because you have a situation that isn't going your way. Throwing a party is like entering someones home: You have to be cognizant of what they do and do not like, and not be insulted when you make them uncomfortable. Really, you are just being falsely generous and dismissive about her feelings.
0 Comments
Another Dear Abby with my responses... DEAR ABBY: My husband tends to be a major clutterbug. We had an argument last night about him storing a set of encyclopedias. My argument is that we have never used them and never will, since they are "dinosaurs" in today's modern world. Any information can be looked up digitally.
He was given these encyclopedias by his grandparents, so he feels they have a "deeper meaning." Although he has never once used them, he says they make the bookshelf look nicer. We recently got rid of the bookshelf and now he wants to store them in our already cluttered attic. His plan is to pass them on to our child or grandchildren. I don't think they would want to inherit them, as they take up so much space and there are more efficient ways to find information. Please help. -- FRUSTRATED WIFE IN CONNECTICUT Dear Frustrated, What's it to you if he keeps them? If they are going into the attic you won't even see them. I hate clutter, can't stand it, and I find hanging on to sentimental things a waste of time. But at least I can even put that into perspective: One day you are going to die, and one of your kids or grandkids is going to want to hang on to something you had. If I ever run into yours, I'll tell them to just "dump whatever the old bat had, cause she isn't worth losing attic space." You realize kids are starving in this country, right? And you still want to whine about a set of encyclopedias? DEAR ABBY: What should someone do when gifts received via mail or UPS have been damaged in transit? We have received some ceramic objects for Christmas in the last two years. Both were packed and sent by the givers. My wife would rather remain silent about the damage to avoid the appearance that a replacement is expected. I contend that the damage should be mentioned and that no replacement is necessary when writing the thank-you note, or even that certain gifts should be avoided in the future. Otherwise, the sender has no way of knowing that a better packaging job is necessary. Also, there may be some (insurance) recourse with the carrier. -- "BUSTED" IN PENNSYLVANIA Dear Busted, How is this even a problem? The only person(s) at fault here is the postal clerks. And it probably isn't their fault either; half of sorting is done by machine, and shipping sometimes can be rough. Yes, the senders should be told and No, the senders should not buy you a new gift unless they want to. This isn't a fucking heart for transplant. It was something you never needed in the first place that you probably would have sold at a garage sale. Be honest and tell them, or be polite and don't. Either way you're going to end up with a ceramic, and those things just take up space. Telling the sender will at least avoid the awkwardness of seeing them in person and having to try to dodge "Where our lovely gift is?", and you having to answer "Broken and in the trash. We didn't care enough about you to tell you it was broken." Cause, you know, honesty is never the best policy. Here's another Dear Abby I thought I could do better on. I don't do these everyday, because sometimes I just don't care about the letter.
Hurm. Maybe I should do responses for those ones..... But not today. Here you go: DEAR CRABBY: My wife and I both served in the military. When she returned from Egypt 19 months ago, she dropped a bomb on me, saying she didn't want to be married anymore. She said she had settled for second best all her life and that's what she had done with me. She went on to say she knows there's someone better than me out there, and she's going to find him. All the evidence points to an affair, which she denies -- constant trips out of town, emails and phone calls. We are now living paycheck to paycheck. We have no more savings and I'm paying all the expenses when it comes to the kids. She retired a year ago and refuses to get a job worthy of her experience. The worst part is, our kids have suffered. We have been separated ever since she got back. She says our kids aren't worth her trying to save our marriage. Our close friends and family are still shocked, but no one more than me. It has been a struggle, which almost caused me to have a breakdown. Everything I do now is to lessen the impact on our kids. What advice can you offer me? -- TRYING TO COPE IN VIRGINIA Dear Trying, It's over. Just her saying 'the kids aren't worth it" is complete sign of that. If you can, prove that she had an affair, and use that above statement to make sure that you have primary custody of the children (if that's what you want. She may be a cold-hearted bitch to you, but is she the better parent? Be honest). Get a lawyer and treat this like the biggest security infraction of your life. Be amicable in the proceedings, but put nothing past her. She is not your friend anymore. Protect your children, don't speak badly about their mother, and make sure you cover your ass. This person knows a lot about you, and doesn't seem to care about anything right now. That's dangerous. She might be suffering from some kind of PTSD, but that isn't your problem anymore. Sympathy won't get you anywhere in this. You have strength in family and friends. They know who is getting the raw deal here (if everything you've written is true), and it's going to be the kids. You can move on, find new love, but their home is ripping apart. Use your friends to castle your side. There is no winner in a divorce, but that doesn't mean you have to lose. The fact you have a job and she doesn't, that she isn't a SAHM, and that she might have had an affair all work in your favor. DEAR ABBY: I'm a student in a community college. I enjoy the diversity of the students here; many are adults who are changing careers or getting the education they've always wanted.One woman in my class has a habit of bringing her toddler with her. I understand that sitters can be unreliable and child care is expensive, but this disrupts the class -- and I know it distracts the mother, as well. She often has to get up mid-lesson when her child needs to use the restroom. I don't want to step on toes or intrude in people's personal lives, but college is no place for an unruly toddler. How can I handle this? -- STUDENT IN NEW YORK Dear Student, $20 bucks says that you have a friend who could watch a toddler for an hour or two. Have you thought about approaching this woman and offering to help? Think of you on your worst day. Now add a toddler. That's probably this woman's every day. I'm sure you can think of ways to help now. Unless you just wanted to complain about the struggles of another person. Then go complain about this woman to everyone you know and complain to the Dean, and maybe get her kicked out of school. That will show her for trying to get an education while you're around. Silly people, trying to get an education and maybe a better job while you have incredible freedoms and little responsibility. The first one might be controversial. If I ever cheated on my wife (wouldn't happen. I love her too much. That and she has family in the Mexican Mafia), I would hope that I would have decent enough friends to call me on my crap. To paraphrase a book written 3,500 years ago "As iron sharpens iron, so does the countenance of ones friends."
Here's Abby's article: Won't say it like it is As usual, I'll print my answers, but you can go to Abby's site for hers. DEAR CRABBY: I manage a group of 15 employees. A few months ago, I hired the wife of an old friend. Until now she has been a great employee, but recently she and a male co-worker have been taking lunches and breaks together in a way that leads me to believe they are flirting or have already crossed the line. Because we have a small group, I worry about how this will affect my team, who know that she's married. I also feel bad for the husband, who is a very caring and kind man. As a manager, I don't think I can say anything unless their liaison interferes with their work performance. But I hate to watch this progress and see people end up hurt. What can I do? -- MANAGEMENT DECISION Dear Management, There are a few options you can go over, such as stating the companies policy on fraternization, and that people having office relationships need to file it with Human Resources. You can make this statement to the group. That way you are acting professionally and observing company policy. The other side of this is your friendship: are you more friends with her, or with him? Personally, I don't want to be friends with someone who will cheat on their significant other. It makes me feel like they will lie to me, as well. I would suggest finding out for sure, either by playing detective, or suggesting that your friend go have lunch with his wife, and have him show up where she eats as a surprise. It might not be any of "your business", unless you care about what happens to your friends and their feelings. If you saw someone stealing from your friend, would you stop them? Why do we think that cheating on someone is none of our business, especially when married people make declarations to the public and their friends and family that they will be loyal? Food for thought. DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend watches the 24-hour news channels and seems to be obsessed with them. It is hurting our relationship and affecting her happiness. She's constantly worried about national and international politics, global warming, the economy, health care, crime, etc. She neglects herself and her family. She seems agitated, anxious and depressed by all the news. Is this a disease? How can I help her get off this habit? What should I do? -- MISERABLE IN MINNESOTA Dear Miserable, I've never really understood what the benefit of watching the news was. I still do it, read various sources, etc. But at the end of the day I have to ask myself "Did my knowledge of what happened make me a better person? Did it help anyone?" More often than not, the answer is "no". Sure, I know an airplane went down after it left Malaysia. Does knowing that bring those people back or supply relief to their families? Try giving the news perspective, and talk to her about it. Discuss what she is watching, and ask her why it makes her scared. Thoroughly examine the source of her fears. Then give her a little Baz Lurhman: "Don't worry. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as chewing bubblegum while trying to solve a math equation." It's the same thing as when I dealt with a paranoid schizophrenic (don't know for sure, I'm not a psychologist) who was convinced the government was watching him. I kept asking him why, leading him along the line of logic "Why would they watch him? Was he working on a weird math equation? Did he witness something illegal?" Eventually he thought through his paranoia and realized that even if he was being watched, it would be very boring for the watcher. Then he decided that he would put on shows and act out parts from plays for them, just to "endear them" to him. If she still acts like a bump on a log, tell her she can either watch the news or be with you. Not both. DEAR CRABBY: At a wedding, while shaking hands with a friend, I accidentally bumped another friend's wine glass, staining his $180 shirt. The stain is a small one, on the lower portion and not very noticeable. Now the man insists I pay for the shirt. Is there an etiquette rule on this issue? I feel bad, but not bad enough that I think I should pay for such an expensive shirt. If you have the means to pay for a shirt that expensive, I don't believe you should expect others to replace it. -- CHRIS IN DENVER Dear Chris, Emily Posts guide to etiquette states that you should have the shirt cleaned, or replace it. Treat it like a baseball through a broken window. It may have been an accident, you are sorry, but that window still needs to be fixed. So, once you shell out the money and fix the material things, ask yourself if you want to be friends with someone who values objects more than relationships? Or who would want to be friends with a person who does not care for the possessions of others. Maybe you shouldn't be friends with this person if the both of you are more concerned with material things. What is clear is that you have shown that this friend has more money than you, and it bothers you. Going back to that window: does it matter if its a window in a mansion or a hovel? You broke the window. Sorry doesn't stop a draft. "But it's not a window, it's a shirt." You broke something that wasn't yours. Fix it or replace it. Whiner. Once again, I have different answers than Abby. Anyone got a problem with that?
DEAR ABBY: My 83-year-old mother has decided she wants to die. She says she's miserable, but I think she's causing her own misery. She has medications to address her physical ailments -- none of which are critical. My siblings live in other states. Mom feels it's a "burden" for them to travel to see her, and she refuses to travel. Mom is in assisted living and is now refusing to bathe, trying not to eat, and doesn't want to talk to anyone or have visitors. She's obviously depressed, but refuses counseling. If she continues being uncooperative, I'm afraid she'll have to go to a nursing home where they might let her starve herself to death. One sister says I should force Mom to do fun things, but I don't know what she wants. We used to go out to eat, but she no longer wants to do that. I have tried to honor Mom's wishes, but I'm at a loss about what to do for her. Do you have any suggestions? -- ALMOST AT WITS' END Dear Almost, Since the current generation is so fixated on their individual rights and freedoms, perhaps you should take them at their word. Since no one is allowed to dictate how someone lives their life, gay or straight, religious or atheist, pro/anti abortion, you have no ground to stop your mother from killing herself. But, if you are like myself and do not believe in the garbage of moral relativity, then perhaps a little reverse psychology is in order. Tell her that if she truly does not want to live, then maybe she should spend her last days enjoying life instead of being in misery and hungry all the time. Force her on a goodby tour, and plan on having her do "just one more thing" that you know she'll like. Even help her come up with her own. Have her tell off someone who always bugged her. What has she got to lose? That should be the go to: "what have you got to lose. You're going to die anyway. Why not do this..." In the end, though, it is her choice. DEAR ABBY: I dated my ex for six years, but we broke up recently. The problem is, we signed a lease on our apartment that won't be up until next year. He still lives here, and I don't have the heart to kick him out. Financially, our living together makes sense, and I'd rather live with him than with a stranger. Abby, this living arrangement has made it tough to get over him. Our breakup was amicable -- somewhat -- and we remain civil to each other. I have no desire to get back together with him. I just find it hard because I'm not sure how to survive this weird situation I'm in. Is it a good idea to keep living together? -- REMAINING CIVIL IN CANADA Dear Remaining Civil, Yeah. So very Canadian. I had something like this happen to me. Financially it was the best thing. In the long run? Bite the bullet: get out, get out now. The money you lose will be worth it. If you truly are stuck, make every minute be outside the apartment unless you need to sleep or shower. And I can not stress this enough: DO NOT HANG OUT! When you break up, you should cut off almost all contact for at least six months. This isn't being a bitch, this is allowing your brain and body chemistry to re-adapt and be able to make choices and decisions that do not involve another person. Sure, some people may say that this is not the mature way of doing things. Maturity is knowing when to be responsible. You have a responsibility to your own mental health. DEAR ABBY: My new husband's family informed him they were coming to visit us for seven to 10 days. This was eight relatives, and I was not asked whether this was convenient or not. They were so noisy that our neighbors finally asked, "When are they leaving?" How can I prevent this from happening again in the future without offending anyone? My husband said after they had left, "You don't handle chaos and confusion well, do you?" -- NEEDS TO BE CONSULTED IN GEORGIA Dear Needs, Are you running a B&B or a hotel? Tell him the next time he thinks it's okay for eight people to stay for ten days, that you are going to slash his beer budget and charge for clean towels and meals. "My home is your home" has a caveat. A home is run by people in a relationship. A relationship does not work without communication. Doing something without the other person being made aware is not communication, and therefore not a relationship. Tell him "If you love me, you will talk to me, to make sure that I'm taken care of, in our home. Our family first." Or make him sleep on the couch if it happens again. Here's another one of my responses to Dear Abby. Her answers can be found here If you readers would like me to include Abby's responses, let me know! DEAR CRABBY: How do I deal with an assistant who keeps calling me a "brownnoser"? She did it again yesterday at a staff meeting in front of my boss and another assistant. It was the third time she has said it. She is gruff and rude, and several people have complained to me about her attitude. Should I address her comments during her next employee evaluation, or would it be better to speak to her privately? -- THE BOSS IN LAKELAND, FLA. Dear Boss. Are you brown nosing? Should it matter? Who signs your paychecks? Who signs their paychecks?You go to work (even jobs you love) to fulfill a role. That role is not to be everybody's BFF. Personally, I would address it directly and in front of my own boss, “What's wrong with trying to anticipate my boss' needs? That's part of why he hired us. I'm not here to be your friend, I'm here to get a job done, same as you. I suggest you do it instead of complaining about other people doing their job”. The other option is to manipulate this person. Here are a few ways to do that: Ask them genuinely if everything is okay. Really ask them. Even if they don't tell you, or do tell you, tell them that you are available if they need to talk. This will engender feelings of emotional obligation in them. Another way is to ask them to do you a favor. Stand beside them (standing in front suggest confrontation) and say “I need your help.” People don't like the guilt of not helping. Ask to borrow something of theirs. It's the Benjamin Franklin Effect (here) That should do it. Or you could just do your job and quit worrying about what others say. DEAR CRABBY: I would like to ask your readers -- especially women -- what is the one thing they feel is "make or break" in a relationship. A few months ago I divorced a man who was so disrespectful I don't think anyone in the world can match him. As it turns out, I did myself a huge favor. Everything else -- trust, compromise and honesty -- is important in a relationship, but if there is no respect, it falls apart. That is what happened to me. Abby, am I correct about respect being the most important aspect of a partnership? -- DESERVING IN SALT LAKE CITY Dear Deserving, I'd say communication is most important. Respect is something that is earned, and actions speak louder than words. If you openly talk to someone, share their feelings and thoughts, express yourself succinctly, then respect will fall into place. Especially if they say one thing and do the other. But it is not the cornerstone that everything else is built on. Love is. And love is a language, expressed differently. So did I solve your bet? Because this didn't seem like a real question to be asked to solve a current problem. DEAR CRABBY: My wife and I spent a lot of money flying to our grandnephew's bar mitzvah. We stayed in a hotel and spent the weekend celebrating with the family. During the last event, a Sunday brunch, my wife was approached by her penny-pinching sister -- the grandmother -- who asked her to co-sponsor the brunch. My wife, who is naive regarding financial matters, agreed without consulting me. A few days later, we received an email with an amount that is far more than I want to pay. Had I known in advance, we would have skipped the brunch. How should we proceed? -- ON THE HOOK IN AUSTIN Dear On the Hook: There's no such thing as a free lunch...er Brunch. Pony up the cash if you have it, then have a real good talk to your wife about trust and communication. Couples fight over money. It happens. This would be the starter to a big fight. Forgive her, tell her you can both solve this problem, but explain to her how it made you feel. Give her a scenario: Tell her that she worked really hard and got paid a $1000. Then tell her that you promised $1000 to a friend of yours if the Cubs won the superbowl, and that your just going to give him the money she earned without talking to her about it. You'll just withdraw it all from the account. You gave your word you'd pay him so you can't back out. It's both of your money, right? When you are married, it's no longer your money. It belongs to both of you. That doesn't mean she can go spend money without talking with you first, or vice-cersa. You can't turn around and buy something expensive (even if you can afford it) without talking to her. You are united by the bonds of marriage, two people that share a life. If you can't afford to pay for the brunch, explain to the relative you will pay what you can. Ask your wife if she would like to help resolve the issue by getting a part time job. That might sound insulting, but think of it as a team building exercise. Then when you can, get her something nice and tell her you're proud of her. That's all folks. Complaints? Compliments? Ambivalence? Let me know. Everyone knows the concept of the advice column. I'm just clinging to Abby's coattails and trying to get attention. Also, I hate some of the advice that's given, and sometimes I get into really long and involved trolling arguments. So I've decided to put that energy here, instead.
First up (and by no means the best) is taken from April 13th, 2014 edition of Dear Abby. I'll post the letters and my response, not Abby's (Abigail Van Buren). Here we go! DEAR ABBY: I'm in a tricky situation. My boyfriend of four years, "Ian," and I took a break from our relationship for two months because he was scared he'd miss out on the single life. We started hanging out again soon after, and everything fell into place. We were talking recently, and he mentioned that he's planning to move across the country to San Francisco to be near his family. He made it plain he wants to live on the West Coast "forever." I am close to my family -- closer than Ian is to his. We're both 24, and while we're not going to get engaged anytime soon, I'm not sure what to do. We love each other, but the geography is causing so many issues. Please advise. -- NEW YORK GIRL Dear NEW YORK GIRL, Break up. I know that's hard, and that television and movies have told you that love conquers all, but lets be realistic. Distance is like wind to a fire. If your love is the flame of a candle the wind of distance will blow it out. If your love is a campfire (which it apparently isn't because lets be honest, he dumped you to get laid/be independent), it will make the love stronger. Only one of you seems to be in this relationship, and he's with you because it makes him feel good at the moment. You're 24 and this is not the end of your life, it's the beginning. The tricky thing about "true love" is that if it's meant to be it won't matter if there are 2 miles, or 2,000 miles between you. More important than true love is to "love true". If he truly loved you, you would be part of his plans. DEAR ABBY: This "issue" with my wife may seem trivial, but it's making me crazy. I like to cook; she doesn't. When I cook it's an expression of love, and our family sits down together to enjoy the meal. We don't watch TV and we don't answer the phone. Sounds ideal, wouldn't you say? The problem is, after I put the food on the table, my wife gets up and starts pulling other food from the fridge to microwave. Or she'll start making a salad. These last-minute additions make me furious. She knows it, but won't stop. Either she "doesn't want the leftover to go bad" or she thinks something is "missing" from the table. I say she should prepare these additions while I'm making dinner so everything will be on the table at the same time, or else forget it. What do you think? -- STEAMING IN THE KITCHEN IN TEXAS Dear STEAMING, Wow. Lame. If she really cared about what she eats, and you like to cook, why don't either of you talk beforehand about what she wants? There seems to be a greater issue here. The point is if she doesn't like what you cook, then she could ask or be polite about making something else. She's being rude and disrespecting of your feelings. By saying things like "There's something missing from the table" she's basically insinuating that you are incompetent, and this stems from her own feelings of inadequacy . It's passive-aggressive B.S. Just because it worked for Gandhi doesn't mean it works in a marriage. If addressed she might turn it around so that its about you not respecting her feelings, or saying that "If you really cared you would make me something I like." I would be tempted to be passive-aggressive as well, and make food for everyone except her. But that isn't love. You said your cooking is an expression of love. I get that, I really do. If you love someone, and want to do something for them, wouldn't you do something they like? You don't make a pecan pie for someone who's allergic to nuts. Sit down and talk to your wife. Communication seems to be missing from the table. Genuinely ask her if she feels loved. Just by asking you'll probably get a full and clear answer about what needs to be done. Just make her favorite meal first. With a salad. DEAR ABBY: My daughter goes to a preschool in a church where we are not members. Pastor "Joe" is very involved with the classes, often chatting with the parents and calling them by their first names. I have seen him around town various times, but I'm never sure how to address him. I feel strange calling him "Pastor" since he isn't my minister. On the other hand, calling him "Joe" doesn't quite seem right either. How should a man of the cloth be greeted on the street? -- FEELING AWKWARD IN JAMESTOWN, N.Y. Dear Awkward, Have you thought about calling him "Mr."? Or asking what he likes to be called? Who cares if he's a minister? I'm sure Emily Posts guide to etiquette would tell you to call him "mister" first and allow him to correct you. You said it: he's not your pastor. I've come across doctors that tried to correct me when I called them "mister". "It's Doctor Bojangles." "You're not my doctor, Mr. Bojangles." Some might find that disrespectful. I don't care about respect so much as I care about manners. Respect is much deeper. To respect someone is to have confidence in them and to acknowledge them as a person. Saying "I respect you." means you think they are a good person with something good inside of them. Manners is holding a door open or saying please. So here's your options: If you respect him, ask him what he likes to be called. If he's just some guy, call him Mr. Or call him Mr. on the street and Pastor in the preschool. |
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun. Archives
September 2018
Categories
All
|