Pedophiles should be chemically castrated. Without further ado:
DEAR CRABBY: I'm a 27-year-old woman trapped in a loveless marriage. My husband is a few years younger, and very co-dependent. Before he dated me, he had never had a girlfriend or a sexual encounter. I came into the relationship with a child and some trust/fear issues because my ex had abused me.
My husband has now become verbally, sexually and to a lesser degree, physically abusive, to the point of striking my 5-year-old son. I threw him out for that, but caved to pressure from my family to take him back. They think he's a "stabilizing" influence in my life. They don't know about, or can't grasp, his abuse or the abuse I survived previously. If I hint at it, they accuse me of "lying for attention."
My husband has left for basic training with the army and will be gone for a few months. I already feel freer, lighter and more able to cope with things. If I leave him while he's away, the social and family repercussions will be devastating. My son and I may be forced to relocate.
I'm torn and afraid. I went through with the marriage only to please my family, as the abuse started before the wedding. It has been a year and a half, and all I can think about is getting out. Help me, please. -- CANADIAN READER
Dear Canadian Reader,
Get some cameras, set them up around the house, and catch him in the act. He's gone for the next thirteen weeks or so, and he'll likely be in St. Jean or Borden, so you have time and space. Prepare for war and plan to escape.
Abuse is grounds for divorce and you will be legally entitled to half his pension from the military. Trust me, I know a few people in the military that are divorced. The Canadian Forces won't even hesitate to garnish his wages.
When you have video footage you can show your family, and if they chastise you for setting up a trap, you'll know who you can trust. If you can't trust them, they aren't your family, end of story.
Financially you can be taken care of. Before all of this, all the planning or lack of, put this thought in your head though: How far are you willing to allow your son to be beaten? How much are you willing to let your son see of your abuse? Do you want your son to one day act like his step-father?
Your husband is going to be physically trained for aggression, and though basic training in Canada is not like the United States, do you think he is going to come back kinder and gentler? If anything he might pick up a few ideas.
Then there is the Military Family Resources Center (MFRC). They have exactly the resources for you, from legal to therepy, childcare, etc.
(I am not saying anything bad about the CF. I am saying that if a person has aggression issues, it's not going to get better without therapy).
He won't change unless something drastic happens. Do not take him back, even if he seems to have changed. You can eventually forgive him, if you want to. But do not get romantically involved with him ever again. He will only learn if the consequences are permanent. Taking him back will simply tell him what he has to lie about to not get in trouble, or worse, he'll might make revenge plans to set you up.
Back to your family, your word should be good enough. And anyone who encourages you to go back to a condition of violence needs to get their fucking head examined.
In summation: get out, GET out, GET OUT! This piece of shit deserves to have the rug pulled out from under him. You and your son are more important than your family right now, and relocation is a good thing if it means safety.