a Machine Of Words
  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass

BAD ADVICE

GET IT WHILE IT'S STEAMING

Can't Sleep, Clown'll Eat Me

8/2/2017

0 Comments

 

DEAR JERKASS: My husband and I are happily married, but have one serious problem. Our sleeping habits are incompatible. I am an extremely light sleeper; he is a horrendous snorer. He sees a snoring specialist and tried several medical treatments, none of which worked. The only solution is a minor surgical procedure. He doesn't want to have the surgery. He insists he "sleeps fine," and says I'm the one with the problem. I have tried earplugs, white noise machines, sleep medications and more, but I cannot get a decent sleep with the obnoxious snoring. He stays up much later than I do, and I enjoy sleeping in our master bedroom until he comes to bed. I usually get driven out of the room by the noise. We agree we don't want to sleep in separate rooms and lose the intimacy, but it's the only option for me to sleep well. Neither of us wants to give up the master bedroom because it's the only one with an attached bathroom. Am I wrong for asking him to have surgery so we can share a bed? And if he won't, who should get the master bedroom? -- SLEEPLESS IN LOUISIANA


DEAR APNI-AIN'T MAH FAULT:This is you: "Gee, I want my husband to go under the knife even though he might be scared of it because I don't want to give up the master bathroom".
What intimacy are you having if you're asleep when he comes to bed?  It sounds like bullshit since one of you is always awake.
And it seems really dumb that the main reason you're staying in the same room is because you don't want to walk a few extra steps to take a piss at night.
Since you both seem to be on different sleep cycles and don't want to lose "intimacy", why not cuddle for a bit before you go to sleep.  Then he can get up, watch whatever shows he wanted, and then head off to the other room to sleep, or even vice versa.  You're already asleep by the time he gets to bed.  I bet you won't even miss him.
​Or, you know.  Guilt trip him into doing something he might be scared of doing so you can keep the master bathroom.

0 Comments

Dear Jerkass (Quit Crapping On Blue Collar)

8/2/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
 DEAR JERKASS: My 18-year-old daughter has just graduated from high school. She has now informed me that she's not going on to college, like we had previously discussed, and becomes upset when we try to talk to her. My question is, should we let her make her own decision about this -- and pay for it for the rest of her life -- or continue to push her into some kind of life skill set? -- LIFE SKILLS IN MISSOURI

DEAR IVORY TOWER WANNABE: Why not let her try prostitution.  It is the worlds oldest profession...
How about a trade school?  If she chooses college she'll probably be edged towards taking "Gender Studies" by her peers, and subsequently dye her hair, demand she be called xhe, and end up working at a stream of coffee shops without ever trying to pay back all those school tuition's because socialism should "make it free".
Or she could learn a trade and start earning money.  Since you don't live in San Fransisco, where you need to make over $100,000 a year to live comfortably you won't need a $100,000 job (although sergeants in the police dept there do make that).
You live in Missouri, and the Living Wage Calculator for a single person to live comfortably is $18,629 a year.  If she becomes a single mom, it's $37,916 a year.
Here are some blue collar jobs that would do well for her:
Brick Layer $45,000
Chemical Plant Operator $40,000
Dental Hygienist $62,000
Firefighter $44,000
Locomotive Engineer $62,000
Personal Trainer $53,000
Police officer $50-100,000
Electrician $73,000

What?  Even a Food Preparation & Serving Related position would give her $18,830, and there's no Gender Studies degree needed.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your job as a parent is to make sure that the kid is able to survive on their own before they reach voting age.  If you think she's failed already then even though it's your fault, it isn't your responsibility. Stop trying to force the high horse intellectual smug superiority that you're only worthwhile if you go to college, or you'll never succeed without it.
I'd even go so far as to tell every parent to get their kids through a trade school first, and then pursue their dreams, so they will at least have a fallback to survive on.
But maybe that's just me, and maybe I'm just better than you.


Button Text
0 Comments

    Judas' Advice Column

    This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice.  I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.
    I often take the stance against the letter writer since usually they are complaining about someone who can't defend themselves.

    Archives

    September 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    February 2016
    October 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All
    Abuse
    Benjamin Franklin Effect
    Common Sense
    Dear-abby
    Dear-crabby
    Domestic Violence
    Free Lunch
    Manipulation

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass