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"Storytime" To Cut Marketing Budget By half, Director Warns of Hiring Freezes

4/23/2020

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Judas X. Machina is slashing his marketing budgets by as much as half for the second half of the year, according to internal materials viewed by CNBC.
One email about the cuts went out to marketing employees this week, noting the budget cuts and a new hiring freeze for full-time and contract employees.
"I don't even get an allowance, so I don't know how he's going to pay us less.  There are budget cuts and hiring freezes happening across other platforms.  The difference is they have content." read one employee email.  The employee is also the eldest son of Judas X. Machina and also an Admin for the Facebook group "Oh, f*ck off Rebecca, your kid did not say that!" 
A company spokesperson, Kristina Kay, confirmed that some areas' budgets are being cut by as much as half, but added that "he spends money on stupid crap we don't need.  So I'm proud that at least his collection of Deadpool Faberge eggs won't be growing this year."
Judas X. Machina outlined last week, he is re-evaluating the pace of the investment plans for the remainder of 2020 and will focus on a select number of important marketing efforts such as Patreon and dating rich older men.

patreon.com/JudasXMachina


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  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass