Leaving me with four boys.
So I did what any father and husband would do: I used my time to clean the basement, and the bedroom, and the bathroom.
Our basement has been a source of contention, with boxes still unpacked from when we first moved in, scattered throughout, piled haphazardly, blocking the path to the washer/dryer that is also under piles of laundry and various bric-a-brac.
But it is not this place that I fear I have overstepped my bounds.
You see, our bathroom is stuffed with lotions and tonics, brushes and pills (of both the legit and snake oil variety) to such a degree that I have a less than one foot cubed space for my shampoo, shaving accoutrements, and deodorant.
Three of my boys' personal grooming is relegated to a bath-time bucket, and suction cup tooth brushes.
My wifes' items fill three shelves, two drawers, and most of the medicine cabinet.
So I took EVERYTHING that hadn't been used in at least six months and put it into a giant Rubber Maid container to be sorted through in the near future (near being ASAP, since if it sits for too long I'm going to be tempted to just put it all into a trash bag this coming Thursday... Garbage Day).
My reasoning is that, well, most of the stuff has either not been used in a long time, has never been used, or we just flat out don't need it. I don't know why we need ten different shampoos, since the only ones that get used are in a shower caddy. I don't know why we have antibiotics from two years ago. I don't know why we have thirty bottles of different nail polish when my wife doesn't paint her nails. I didn't do this out of malice or anger (though definitely frustration), but because I want a nice, organized, and fresh start for her to come back to.
But I'm sure I went ahead and shot myself in the foot. After reflection I've come to the conclusion that my enlightened attitude may be seen as a personal attack on her....and that you should never really touch a woman's beauty hoard (also something I find puzzling, since I think she's beautiful with or without the lotions and oils and de-oiling and exfoliate stuff. I also think she's pretty).
So this may be my last post, ever.
Honey, if you are reading this I am very, very sorry. I would like to mention that while you were gone the children were mostly fed and dressed "okay", and the laundry was folded and put away (except for todays), and the basement is a lot cleaner and the grass was mowed and the dishes were done, and and and....
Good NIGHT EVERYBODY!