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One Pot Recipes That Allowed Father To Record Annoying Bedtime Stories

4/25/2020

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YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!


Covid Socially Isolated husband and father Judas X. Machina got stir crazy, and decided to stir up some quick recipes that would allow him to record his late night bedtime stories for the viewing public.
The author and general layabout claimed laziness was his motivating factor.
"I generally don't want to do anything.  So it was really important to me to find a good, easy meal that my family would eat and think I worked really hard on, while allowing me ample time to play Bejewelled Blitz while I'm supposed to be editing a new Storytime video.
So I used my wifes cast iron skillet that she's really protective of because I left it in the sink for a week while she was in the hospital having our fourth son."  Judas then tried to change the subject.
"Yeah, I remember that."  His wife told our correspondent.  "Here I am pushing a human out of me and I come home to a rusty pan handed down by the family Matriarch Dita Von Harmel Van Bernalmeyer."

Judas then tried to sell us digital copies of his unread novels, while providing us with his recipes.

Bronx Gray, reporting.

Lemon Shrimp Risotto in One Pan

2 Tbsp butter
1 ½ lb(s) peeled and deveined shrimp
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, finely diced
2 cups arborio rice
1 cup dry white wine
About 5 cups vegetable broth
½ tsp kosher salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 lemon, zested and juiced, plus extra lemon zest, for garnish
2 Tbsp heavy cream
18 fresh basil leaves, chopped, plus extra for serving
Grated Parmesan, for sprinkling
DIRECTIONS1. Heat the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the shrimp in a single layer and cook on both sides until opaque in the middle, about 3 minutes. Remove to a cutting board and cut in half. Set aside.
2. Return the skillet to the stovetop (do not wash it) and add the garlic and onion. Stir and cook until the onion starts to turn translucent, 2 to 3 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium low. Add the rice to the skillet and cook, stirring, for a couple of minutes, taking care not to burn it. Pour in the wine and stir. Once the wine is absorbed, begin adding the broth 1/2 to 1 cup at a time, allowing the rice to cook and absorb the liquid each time. Stir occasionally as you go and add the salt and pepper during one of the broth additions. After 4 cups of broth have been absorbed, taste the rice. It should have a slight bite, but if it seems undercooked, add additional broth for the rice to absorb and cook until the risotto is to your liking.
3. Add both the lemon zest and juice to the risotto towards the end of cooking. Stir in the heavy cream, shrimp and basil, then serve immediately with extra lemon zest and Parmesan cheese on top.

Cast Iron Pizza
1 lb(s) frozen store-bought pizza dough*, thawed and risen
¼ cup olive oil
½ cup store-bought pizza sauce
½ cup pepperoni
An inappropriate amount of Mozzarella with a bit of cheddar for a deeper flavor
¼ cup torn fresh basil if you want.
DIRECTIONS1. Place a 12-inch cast-iron skillet in the oven and preheat to 500ºF.
2. Meanwhile, roll or stretch the dough into a 14-inch circle. Carefully remove the skillet from the oven. Drizzle two thirds of the olive oil into the skillet, then carefully transfer the dough to the skillet, pressing the dough up the edges. Spread the sauce over the dough, making sure to get all the way to the edges. Shingle the pepperoni over the sauce and top with the mozzarella pearls. Brush the exposed dough with the remaining olive oil. Bake on the bottom rack until golden brown, 12 to 14 minutes.

*Making your own pizza dough is easy!
Two packets of Flieshmans Yeast in a slightly warm bowl of 1/2 cup of water, 1 teaspoon sugar.  Let sit for 10 minutes.
Add 2 cups flour and 1/2 cup olive oil, 1 teaspoon of salt, and hand mix in a stainless steel bowl adding flour as necessary until the dough is elastic without dry cracks.  Let rise for ten minutes.


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  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass