You Don't Understand My Pain!
Ugh. Guess the desperate cry of a suicide or a trodden down wife needed to be pushed aside for this little whiner:
DEAR JERKASS: Neither of my parents do anything for fun. When Dad comes home from work, he either reads the newspaper or takes a nap. If Mom has free time after finishing the housework or running errands, she watches the news on TV or goes to bed early.
I never thought it was unusual because it has been this way since I was growing up. But once I was in high school, I started hearing classmates talk about their parents' friends or hobbies and I realized my parents are different. They don't even listen to music or read books.
When I want to go out with friends, my parents act annoyed and wonder why I want to go out instead of staying at home. Are there other people out there like this, or are my folks unusual? -- MYSTIFIED IN MAINE
Wow. You could become the next member of Rage Against The Machine.
In a world of neglectful, or down-right abusive parents your biggest whine is that your parents don't fight ninjas or live exciting lives. You are a moron. You know what? Instead of bitching about your parents life, go live your own, you ungrateful yuppie larvae.
Here's a good one: why don't you make a nice dinner for your parents, mow the lawn, or do something productive before you want to go out. You know, like you are grateful or something. Maybe that is the reason why your parents act annoyed that you are going out. If that isn't the reason the upside is that now you are giving them something to commend you on.
If I could scream at you I would.
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Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.