When Life Gives You Lemons...*

Abby should be more tolerant of lactose.

Dear Jerkass: I am a teacher who loves my job. Now that the school year is winding down, may I ask you to pass on this suggestion to all the wonderful parents who send in gifts to their children's teachers?

My family has food allergies. For this reason, unless the lovingly baked goodies have ALL the ingredients listed on the wrapping paper, my family cannot enjoy them. I usually pass on these goodies to other teachers and neighbors. (Please don't think I'm not appreciative; this is purely a medical precaution.)

If I may suggest a gift idea: gift certificates for all kinds of flowers. How often do we receive the joy of flowers? Thank you for passing this along. -- EDUCATOR IN SOUTH CAROLINA

Dear Educator,
*Swell up and die.