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BAD ADVICE

GET IT WHILE IT'S STEAMING

VAMPIRES!

6/22/2014

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DEAR JERKASS: I became a widower two years ago and only recently started dating. Although I am in my early 70s, I'm in great physical shape and have all my hair. I am also financially well off and I think I'm reasonably good looking. My concern is, how do I avoid becoming a trophy husband? -- POTENTIAL PRIZE IN FLORIDA

DEAR PLAYER,
Planning on getting married already?  Simple solution: don't get married and spread some wild oats around (provided you are fixed.  You don't need any fuck trophies).  Then get a venereal disease and die and leave all your wealth to a charitable organization, so that it will accomplish more than you ever did.
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    Judas' Advice Column

    This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice.  I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.
    I often take the stance against the letter writer since usually they are complaining about someone who can't defend themselves.

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  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass