Dear Abby had some good ones today. There were two letters used to answer one question, so I included them both.
Just a heads up; If you commit a small crime like jaywalking and speeding, and then go around bitching about how you got caught, it doesn't make all cops "pigs", "bullies", or any of the other toddler complaints you make. You did something wrong, accept it, and fix it.
And now for the crap.
DEAR CRABBY: As a licensed psychotherapist who has worked with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse over the past 25 years, I would like to respond to "Stunned in the City" (Jan. 22), who found her co-worker's name on a website for registered sex offenders.
Registered sex offenders have been convicted and incarcerated for their crimes as well as serving a probationary period upon release. However, unlike other criminal offenses, they never finish "serving their time" -- both in the areas of WHERE they can live and HOW they can live (employment). They continue to serve a sentence that can never be completed and are stigmatized for the rest of their lives.
The reason for this is because of a "one-size-fits-all" approach to punishment, be it a one-time offender or a serial rapist. Most sexual abusers are either members of the family or a close family friend, and most are never reported. Only a small percentage of registered offenders pose a danger and should be under surveillance. The others should be allowed a second chance to continue with their lives without undue harassment.
If "Stunned" reports her co-worker to her employer, she will jeopardize his livelihood, which he needs to redeem his life. -- ALREADY PAID HIS DEBT
DEAR CRABBY: For more than 20 years I have employed a man who is a convicted sex offender. He paid his debt to society for having sex with a minor when he was in his 20s. It will haunt him for the rest of his life.
The pictures you see online are recent because the authorities require updated photos yearly. I empathize with him because I dated a 15-year-old when I was 19 -- with her parents' approval -- but today it could mean jail time and a ruined life.
There is no demarcation between being dumb and being truly criminal, so everyone is labeled the same. I suggest that we all stay aware of those labeled sexual predators, but approach the sexual offenders case-by-case. -- JUSTICE FOR ALL
DEAR CRABBY: Inclusion on the registry can be the result of something that would not pose a danger to anyone -- urinating in public, or having sex with a younger girlfriend when you yourself are a minor.
If you see a neighbor or co-worker on such a list, no one should jump to conclusions before doing more research about the actual offense. It may be nothing to worry about at all, or it might be something to react to. But you won't know until you find out more than a simple listing. -- REBECCA IN SAN DIEGO
Dear Paid,
You sound like the guy who get pulled over for speeding and never stops complaining. Sure, having the stigma of being a sex offender is a little heavier than speeding, but if you didn't want to constantly be reminded of breaking the law, then why did you break the law? Taking the examples of dating someone younger, I'm reminded of a Texan man, 19, who took pictures of his 17 year old wife on their wedding night. He was arrested for possession of child pornography. We can all agree that this is a ludicrous crime, but the law still stands. And from the perspective of the law he did wrong. That is why we have court systems. And while they may not be the best systems in the world, I would rather have a short leash on a deviant than none at all
Back to that Texan; he may have thought that since it was his wife it would be okay. There is no state that says it's okay to take pictures of a minor nude, no matter the circumstances, so his ignorance, so called, is inadmissible. Public urination is illegal, no matter how much you have to go.
Yes, petition and vote to have these laws clarified, but don't bitch because you got caught. You were wrong, and your sense of entitlement doesn't make you innocent. So go fuck your hat with your false martyrdom. Whatever it was, it was done with the idea that you couldn't get caught, or that they were excused from the rest of the worlds social agreements.
Just a heads up; If you commit a small crime like jaywalking and speeding, and then go around bitching about how you got caught, it doesn't make all cops "pigs", "bullies", or any of the other toddler complaints you make. You did something wrong, accept it, and fix it.
And now for the crap.
DEAR CRABBY: As a licensed psychotherapist who has worked with both victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse over the past 25 years, I would like to respond to "Stunned in the City" (Jan. 22), who found her co-worker's name on a website for registered sex offenders.
Registered sex offenders have been convicted and incarcerated for their crimes as well as serving a probationary period upon release. However, unlike other criminal offenses, they never finish "serving their time" -- both in the areas of WHERE they can live and HOW they can live (employment). They continue to serve a sentence that can never be completed and are stigmatized for the rest of their lives.
The reason for this is because of a "one-size-fits-all" approach to punishment, be it a one-time offender or a serial rapist. Most sexual abusers are either members of the family or a close family friend, and most are never reported. Only a small percentage of registered offenders pose a danger and should be under surveillance. The others should be allowed a second chance to continue with their lives without undue harassment.
If "Stunned" reports her co-worker to her employer, she will jeopardize his livelihood, which he needs to redeem his life. -- ALREADY PAID HIS DEBT
DEAR CRABBY: For more than 20 years I have employed a man who is a convicted sex offender. He paid his debt to society for having sex with a minor when he was in his 20s. It will haunt him for the rest of his life.
The pictures you see online are recent because the authorities require updated photos yearly. I empathize with him because I dated a 15-year-old when I was 19 -- with her parents' approval -- but today it could mean jail time and a ruined life.
There is no demarcation between being dumb and being truly criminal, so everyone is labeled the same. I suggest that we all stay aware of those labeled sexual predators, but approach the sexual offenders case-by-case. -- JUSTICE FOR ALL
DEAR CRABBY: Inclusion on the registry can be the result of something that would not pose a danger to anyone -- urinating in public, or having sex with a younger girlfriend when you yourself are a minor.
If you see a neighbor or co-worker on such a list, no one should jump to conclusions before doing more research about the actual offense. It may be nothing to worry about at all, or it might be something to react to. But you won't know until you find out more than a simple listing. -- REBECCA IN SAN DIEGO
Dear Paid,
You sound like the guy who get pulled over for speeding and never stops complaining. Sure, having the stigma of being a sex offender is a little heavier than speeding, but if you didn't want to constantly be reminded of breaking the law, then why did you break the law? Taking the examples of dating someone younger, I'm reminded of a Texan man, 19, who took pictures of his 17 year old wife on their wedding night. He was arrested for possession of child pornography. We can all agree that this is a ludicrous crime, but the law still stands. And from the perspective of the law he did wrong. That is why we have court systems. And while they may not be the best systems in the world, I would rather have a short leash on a deviant than none at all
Back to that Texan; he may have thought that since it was his wife it would be okay. There is no state that says it's okay to take pictures of a minor nude, no matter the circumstances, so his ignorance, so called, is inadmissible. Public urination is illegal, no matter how much you have to go.
Yes, petition and vote to have these laws clarified, but don't bitch because you got caught. You were wrong, and your sense of entitlement doesn't make you innocent. So go fuck your hat with your false martyrdom. Whatever it was, it was done with the idea that you couldn't get caught, or that they were excused from the rest of the worlds social agreements.
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