Original is here
DEAR JERKASS: My wife and I have three daughters in their 20s and 30s. One of them, "Lauryn," is married with four children. She and her husband are behind in their mortgage, student loans, federal, state and property taxes, utilities, etc. Over the past 15 years, we have given them more than $40,000 to help them stay afloat. Things have not improved.
Now that my wife and I are retired, the money we provide is cutting into our retirement savings. For the sake of our grandchildren, we continue to bail Lauryn out hoping their finances will improve. But now we have begun to think our handouts should come at a cost.
We want to tell Lauryn and our son-in-law that the money we've given -- and have continued to give -- will count against their inheritance. It doesn't seem fair that we have given so much to this one daughter and her family and relatively little to her sisters. Do you agree? We'd appreciate your thoughts on this. -- LOVING PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS
Tell them you've sold everything you have and you plan to move in with your daughter and son-in-law. Tell them that if they want to borrow money from you to the point where you can't take care of yourselves, then they should take care of you.
I'm sure everyhing will sort itself out.
Or fake your death and stage it like an elaborate suicide, with a letter telling them how you couldn't keep up with their bills, and the life insurance policy should cover all their bills. If they act grateful you're dead, then cut them out of the will.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.