DEAR JERKASS: My husband, who is nearing 60, throws plates of food at the wall if he gets upset about something. It is usually minor and totally spontaneous. He then leaves it for me to clean up and won't apologize. I am sick of living with a 60-year-old going on 4. What can I do? -- HAD ENOUGH IN ILLINOIS
He's sixty and doing this? How long have you been married? You, madam, are a moron for putting up with plate throwing the first time.
You wouldn't accept this kind of behaviour for a toddler, so don't put up with it from an adult.
Next time he does it don't clean it up, and start giving him a baby bottle. If he throws the bottle, tell him the next thing he throws away will be his marriage because you aren't going to put up with his spoiled baby routine.
Balls up. What rational person thinks this is okay? You are nothing but his emotional slave.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.