DEAR JERKASS: I live in Colorado. In my state marijuana is legal now. What do you think about my inviting my adult children (they are all over 21) and my aging dad to get stoned with me? I think it might stimulate conversation and motivate more family time than we spend together now. What do you think of "family night" with marijuana as a way to improve family unity? -- ORIGINAL THINKER IN DENVER
Why stop there? Why not invite everyone over for a circle jerk?
Nothing says family more than sitting around and doing something stupid. Why not do DMT? It only last 15 minutes and it's non addictive. Forget if it's legal or not. Stupidity doesn't follow the laws anyway.
What kind of conversation do you want to have with your father? I'm sure he wants to sit around hearing you comment about stupid things.
Pot just makes ordinary and boring things seem important. A toaster is not important and won't stop the corporations, man.
Do what you want. Why would you even write an advice columnist about something this stupid. Kids are killing each other overseas with guns purchased from soft drug sales and you want to get high with your family.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.