DEAR Jerkass: Our niece "Bonnie" has severe attachment problems. She still lives in her parents' home and is well into her 50s. Her father passed away several years ago, and her mother seems to be her only friend.
Bonnie has never had a serious relationship and has spent her life at one job and with her parents. Vacations and holidays have been spent with them only. Bonnie rarely accepts an invitation unless her mom is invited, does not communicate unless we reach out to her first and is very private about the smallest details in her life.
Her mother is aging and we are wondering how Bonnie will manage once her mom is gone. How do we approach someone who seriously needs help and guidance? -- CARING AUNT IN PITTSBURGH
The beauty of free will is that technically no life is wasted; she is apparently doing what she wants, and there is nothing in the world you can do to change her. In this stupid politically correct climate, we somehow thing that we have both a say and no say in peoples lives.
Call A&E and put her on hoarders, since you want to insinuate yourself in her life so much. Might make a dollar off her.
Remember Boo Radly. No? Most people don't because he's a literary character. My point is, we need more interesting people in our world, like the mental shut in that is your niece. As long as she is able to pay her bills and clean up after herself then she is fine. She could be flagellating herself and eating dirt, you really don't need to involve yourself. Just visit when you can and be a friend. Being a friend does not include chastising her for not having a boyfriend. What if she has a girlfriend, or is into dogs? What happens in other peoples bedrooms or private lives, even if we are related, is none of our concern.
You should write her, instead of an advice columnist, idiot.