Dear Abby wishes she were this good.
DEAR Jerkass: Most of my childhood was spent with my grandparents, who raised me until I moved out at 21. I have always regarded them as my true parents because they were always there for me.
My biological parents were also a part of my life. I would visit them on weekends. I love them, too, and appreciate that they allowed me to have a stable childhood with my grandparents.
I am engaged to be married next summer, and I need to decide who should walk me down the aisle. I'd like my grandfather to have that honor, but I don't want to hurt my father by not asking him to do it.
What should I do when the time comes to make the decision? -- NAMELESS IN THE MIDWEST
Just tell your father that your grandad is closer to death, and you'd like to be nice to him before he kicks off. Who's going to object to a dying old man? Besides me?
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.