Dating was simpler in caveman days. Simple, Like Dear Abby.
DEAR JERKASS: I am a 38-year-old male who has never been married. I have been in three serious relationships, all of them with women who have children. Each time when these relationships ended, I found myself heartbroken and traumatized. I experienced a kind of withdrawal because of the emotional bond I had with the children.
I have now decided to date only women who have no children. But my friends and co-workers say I'm being short-sighted and "closing the door to several opportunities." Because of our disagreements, I find myself spending more and more time away from them, and more time alone.
Are my friends right? Or should I stick to my guns and keep looking for that special someone who does not come with a family attached? -- MONTANA LONELY
Do you also let your friends tell gay people who to marry? Tell them to fuck off, it's not their business. If they are your friends they won't harass you about it anymore. If they are freshly married, just avoid them, anyway. Nobody likes to evangelize marriage more than newlyweds.
This is your heart, and the heart of another person. No one else. You are not dating your friends. They don't get final approval.
If you meet someone who has kids, just be straight forward and tell them that even though you don't know the kids, you want to respect them and their hearts by not hanging around with them. A decent mother will understand that if the relationship ends, the children could be just as hurt, if not more, than the adults involved.
"But my kids are a part of me?!"
Yes, but a mother is not just a mother. She is a woman, and a woman can be many things at the same time; a sister, a daughter, an employee, a (sic) lover, a parent, an ex-con. THAT means she can take care of her kids without you.