I really hope that the people who wrote Abby read these letters. I would live it if they recorded and uploaded it to youtube or something. Seriously.
Here's Abby's article with her answers to these letters.
Oh, dear God in heaven these are pathetic.
DEAR CRABBY: I'm the happily married mother of two teenage boys. The other day I overheard my older son (age 17) talking with a friend about "twerking." I have never heard of it and now I'm worried. Is twerking a drug term? Is it similar to "tripping," "getting high" or "catfishing"?
My 17-year-old is supposed to go to Princeton next year on a sports scholarship, and I'm afraid "twerking" will derail him from his charted path. Thank you for any advice you may have. -- TROUBLED MOM IN CONNECTICUT
Are you fucking kidding me? You couldn't look this up online? You've avoided television for the last five years? You are Amish?
There is no good reason why you would need to write in a letter for this question in the modern day and age. I do have to wonder if you mailed this letter using the Pony Express?
You said your son is going to Princeton? How did he get so far without using the internet? There is no possible way that you would want to provide him with the best education and not allow an internet access. It's not all porn you know. You can monitor that shit.
I get the feeling that your son has been seriously sheltered. In which case, you are in for a major surprise, and twerking will be the least of your problems.
Congrats, by the way, for throwing your kid to the sharks and completely leaving them behind the rest of the world.
Here's the motherfucking Urban Dictionary definition of "Twerking"
the act of moving/ shaking ones ass/buns/bottom/buttocks/bum-bum in a circular, up-and-down, and side-to-side motion.
Basically a slutty dance. derived from strip clubs.
When a girls' ass moves like a bowl of Jell-O
Examples of usage:
Man: She was twerking so hard on my dick last night! I thought it was gonna go numb!!
Girl: that girl is such a slut for twerking at the dance!
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.