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BAD ADVICE

GET IT WHILE IT'S STEAMING

It's A Race, Not A Friendship

5/25/2014

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RUN, FORREST, RUN. Run from Dear Abby.

Dear Jerkass: I am struggling with my friend. We're both on the cross-country team, but I can run farther than she can. When she stops to walk, I continue to run, but when I do, it makes her very upset. She says I should stop running and walk with her. But if I do that, I will lose valuable mileage.

I don't know what to do. Should I wait for her? -- SWIFTY IN NEVADA

Dear Swifty,
You do not have friends in competitions.  There are people who you can encourage you, and you encourage.  After training you can grab a convo at the juice bar, or some other lamewad bullshit.  On that track you are there to do one thing: beat your last timing.  If she's your friend she'll propel you further, not hold you back.

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    Judas' Advice Column

    This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice.  I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.
    I often take the stance against the letter writer since usually they are complaining about someone who can't defend themselves.

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  • The Mind Cannibalism
  • Thought For Food
  • Who is Judas X. Machina?
  • Mental Sewage
  • Experimental
  • The basics of Finding Fault
    • Failed Daily
  • Dear Jerkass