Here's mine (and someone please send in responses. I don't mind screaming in the dark, but sometimes it gets tedious)
DEAR CRABBY: I am getting married soon, and I am not inviting one of my co-workers, "Darrell," who I know will be hurt. I have looked up to him as an uncle for a few years. We eat lunch together and share gossip, but my fiance and I decided not to invite him even though we are inviting other people from the office.
Darrell was recently arrested for supposedly raping his daughter. He went to court, but the daughter failed to appear, so the charges were dropped. Since then, even though I consider him a friend, I have seen him in a different light.
I know he could be innocent, but my fiance and I do not want him at our wedding around family and kids. I don't know how to tell him he won't be invited. What should I say or not say? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN THE USA
While I agree with the concepts of "guilty until proven innocent" and would like to uphold that ideal, prevention of wounding innocent people is more important.
Even people who have not gone to court may be restrained in a jail cell in order to keep the public safe from a perceived threat, and I think that is the view you should take. Or if you prefer a biological analogy; you don't know if he's diseased yet, so you're waiting until evidence of infection show up. Because of this he is in isolation to protect the populace.
Abby didn't even answer this one, so here's my advice:
Inform Darrell that while you understand "guilty until proven..." but that other people at the wedding have already made up their minds, and if he were to be invited, it could cause undue attention on a day that is supposed to be about you and your groom. You are very sorry for what is going on (sorry can mean; for trusting him, his plight, etc, and not an actual personal "sorry"), but that's why he wasn't invited.
The two things I would like to happen are: if the daughter lied, that she get's the full brunt of the law.
Second, if he is guilty, that chemical castration is petitioned for. The recidivism rate for pedophiles is %100. There is no therapy for their kind. He will never get better, but castration has been proven to reduce these degenerates proclivities.