DEAR ABBY: I am planning to attend a birthday party for my friend "Sophia" who is turning 50. When I mentioned to her that I would be shopping for her birthday gift, she asked that while I was shopping for her, that I also pick up a gift for her friend "Stacy."
I have met Stacy only a couple of times, and I think it was extremely nervy for Sophia to ask me to do it. The party is only for her, and I don't see the connection.
Sophia has done this in the past, and I'm trying to think of a way to tell her I'd rather not buy a gift for her friend. How should I handle this? -- NO LONGER A DOORMAT
DEAR BRAIDED RUG,
Is she paying you back for picking out a gift? It's details like this that change everything. If she expected you to pay for a gift for one of her friends then yes, she's a bitch and you're a doormat. If she was simply asking you a favor then what the fuck is it to you? You're so much better than Sophia that you can't help her out, that's what I'm reading.
You should feel bad for Stacy. She thinks she's getting a gift from someone that put effort and thought into it, and instead she's getting a twice removed shelf grab.
Sounds like you are all self involved and deserve each other.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.