Seriously, why write Dear Abby? Especially when there are better people to ask advice from. Here's the latest winner:
Dear Jerkass: I work in a small bakery. We have a very nice baker here who is an older gentleman. When he gets frustrated, he will shout out, "Son-of-a-rabbit-chaser!" We all laugh and have asked him what that saying actually means. He told us his father used to say it.
Now the entire bakery is trying to guess what this saying's true meaning and origin is. Can you help us out?
My boss seems to think a "rabbit chaser" is referring to a greyhound dog because they chase rabbits. I don't think that makes sense. I'm wondering if maybe it refers to a dirty old man chasing a younger woman, but that doesn't really make sense either. If you can shed any light on this, we would all appreciate it. -- DYING TO KNOW IN MILWAUKEE
You do know there are people are killing each other over shoes in this country? That there are people in dire predicaments that need advice and you're taking up space asking a question that five minutes on Google could fucking answer?
You must hate watching Will Ferrel movies. That guy cracks out with expressions all the time that are weird. "By Odins Raven!"
See, now if you had asked a decent one, like "I haven't heard that in a coon's age", I would be able to tell you the racist underpinnings, and give a diatribe regarding how words are not evil in and of themselves, but by the speakers usage of them. But no. No, I have to sit here and get all pissy because you are too lazy to look something up yourself.
Die. And die school system that didn't teach you HOW to learn.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.