This is not Dear Abby.
DEAR Jerkass: When spending thousands of dollars to attend a destination wedding, are you expected to give a gift to the bride and groom? -- JENNIFER IN NEW YORK
Fuck no. Assholes want to have a wedding where only friends with money can go, then just avoid them altogether.
If you want to get married on top of a volcano, that's your prerogative. But don't invite people to it, that's just fucking rude. Destination weddings may as well be elopements. Throw a party for everyone that can't come, while the bitch, er...bride is off on her wedding.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.