Also, I am not his mother! When he whines, I shut down or become touchy and crabby. If he doesn't whine, I'm happy to take care of him, but I can't take the time during the day to lie in bed with him (I work from home, so I am accessible to him) to keep him warm. I can't stay up until midnight rubbing his back, and I cannot tolerate the sappy whining.
I made him aware of my disdain for the way sick men behave a number of years ago, but he still acts like the world is ending when he has a cold. How do I tend to him without feeling resentful? -- NOT HIS MOTHER
DEAR WHINY SEXIST:
You sound like a terrible wife. Remember that whole pile of crap you ignored when you first got married? I’m talking about that first day, when you stood in front of some officiator and your family and said “In sickness and in health”, and you were looking at each other in a way that would make lonely Goth kids cut themselves. Remember that? This is that time. The sickness time.
Yeah, people get sick. There are these things called germs, they affect people differently. If you get infected by a flu with which you've had past experience, your immune system can fend it off and you'll only have a mild illness. But, if this is your first encounter with this particular virus, you will feel like shit. But just to put a little bit more perspective on it; I’m sure he gets tired of you bitching about whatever goes through your egocentric universe. You just don’t hear him bitching about you because most married men know better than to do that to their wife.
Also, you’re not his mother, true; you’re his wife. And with that means that you are supposed to take care of each other. How would you know that anything is wrong if he didn’t tell you? Are you doing some kind of woman thing in reverse? You know, the one where women expect their man to just read their mind and know what you want? Except in this situation you’re willing to attend to his needs as long as he doesn’t say anything about it because you’ll read his mind? Call me provincial, but taking care of someone is part of the whole marriage thing; making sure the other person's needs are met over your own hang ups, and vice versa. But if there is no communication, or worse he does tell you how he feels and you fuck him over about it, how does this make him the bad guy?
Sounds like part of the problem is you. You clearly have a problem with how you think “men” should behave. Let’s take a note from the oh so popular SJW worksheet and say you are contributing to a “toxic masculinity” by insinuating that men who feel bad when they are sick should be treated with disdain. You may not be his mother, but you sound like a mother fucker. It’s real nice when he’s acting the way you want him to act I'm sure. And I’m sure it really pumps your ovaries with superiority to think that you are better than him because you don’t bitch about ONE thing.
Next time he gets sick and whiny, do yourself and him a favor; set up a tinder for him, and divorce papers for yourself. He doesn’t need your double standards.
Or, next time YOU’RE sick...tell him. If he acts like an asshole and treats you the way you treat him, then maybe you’ll know for sure that you shouldn’t be together and your bitching will be justified.
Original source here.