Dear Jerkass (Oh soh ronery)
DEAR JERKASS: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Until recently, we were inseparable and I loved his company. I got a job that required me to temporarily relocate and be on my own, so we saw each other only every other week. During that time, I gained a better understanding of who I am and how I want to spend my time.
Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he's willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can't be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I'm having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be "the one that got away." Any advice would be appreciated. -- LOOKING FOR THE ONE
DEAR TRINITY: By all means keep stringing your boyfriend along until you find the Bigger Better Deal. That way if you find someone better you can just dump him. Right?
Look, every single person you have a relationship with will have small quirks you can't stand and different interests than your own. There's nothing wrong if you want to break up with him, but it's not fair to string him along because you fear you might not find someone better. That makes you a selfish person. Did you discover THAT during your solitary refinement? Did you also consider that maybe HE'S been putting up with your quirks and "forgiven" your faults?
But maybe he's just not "hittin it right" and if he was we wouldn't be here right now.
So here's the solution: Let the poor man go. He can do better than you. You suck.
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Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.