Here's the original.
DEAR JERKASS: I'm having problems with my boyfriend, "Adam," and I feel stuck. He recently was accepted to graduate school, and we're planning to move there. We haven't lived together before, and I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.
I will be working and paying for everything, and Adam will be just going to school. He thinks this is a fair trade-off because "we won't have to worry about money at all" once he has completed his education.
Abby, I don't think he cares that it's ME going with him. I feel like a space-filler and a meal ticket. How do I go about finding out his true feelings and intentions? He doesn't make me feel special, wanted or important -- ever. I worry this will end badly. I do love him, but I don't want this to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please give me some advice. -- TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE IN INDIANA
Go get your own career and when you have your own house/car/paid off loans if your still interested in him after that, then invite him back into your life to mooch off you.
What, are you an idiot? You don't even know how this guy really feels about you and you're going to move in with him and be his sugar momma? You are an idiot.
No, really. Why not hand over your credit card. Just send it to me, I'll take good care of it.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.