DEAR JERKASS: My fiancee and I share a credit card that was opened under my name. I use it for gas and household or family needs. She uses it for personal things such as buying dolls for her collection.
I was informed that I will no longer be able to use the card after the last statement we got. (I had spent more than $100 on gas for the month.) I feel I am using the card for the purpose for which it was intended. Buying things that aren't for the family but for her personal enjoyment wasn't our agreement.
I'm not sure how to approach her about this without it becoming an argument. She has a spending problem.
I recently found a job, so I contribute financially to the household. This is something that has been thrown in my face every time we talk about money. I want to see the statement so I can compare who spent how much on what, but when I ask to see it, she gets defensive. -- IN THE DARK IN MICHIGAN
Toss her to the curb. CLOSE OFF THE CARD FIRST! Make sure all accounts are locked off to her and that she has no access to you financially BEFORE you break up with her. Change passwords to online accounts. The gas bill. EVERYTHING! Pretend like everything is fine until then, and don't waiver.
I speak from experience: my ex spent our shared line of credit taking a trip to Peru and stuck me with the bill right after we broke up. A guy I work with broke up with his girlfriend while away on business and she cleaned out his account.
She's spending your money and not letting you see the bill? That's lying, fraud, theft. Three strikes, she's out. Just the fact that she tries to use your personal success as a way to obfuscate her own misdeeds should be reason enough.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.