DEAR JERKASS: My 83-year-old mother wants a tattoo! She loves classical music and has decided to have a musical note tattooed on her shoulder. Should I institutionalize her, or chauffeur her to the local tattoo parlor? -- SHOCKED IN GARDEN GROVE, CALIF.
Your mother will probably be dead soon. Let her do what she wants.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.