DEAR JERKASS: My wife and I have been married for 20 years. Before our two children started high school two years ago, we had a great marriage. Unfortunately, my wife has put our children's high school education above everything else. She's a classic "helicopter mom" who says that once the kids leave for college, our relationship will become great again.
As the months go by, I find myself being more of a father and a tutor than a husband and "intimate friend" to my wife. We have little in common with each other, little intimacy, and everything revolves around our children -- not us.
I have talked to her about this, and we have seen a counselor and a priest who told my wife that what she's doing is wrong. But things are getting worse, not better.
Any suggestions on how to get the message across before we get totally separated or even divorced? Or am I the one who needs to see things differently? -- NO HELICOPTER DAD
While I would say that communication is the key to success, it takes both sides to work.
High-school is three years and you're already through two, so you're almost done. The question is does this carry through during the summer months as well? Because if so, that bitch is crazy and she'll end up with successful kids who hate her.
What I think is going on is that she is waiting for the kids to be on the road to successful lives so she can divorce you. That's me, though. She might be trying to make sure the kids never try to move back home so you actually have time together.
Give it another shot. But get some legal items set aside so you don't get screwed over if there's a "surprise" serving of divorce papers.
Judas' Advice Column
This is where I take a Dear Abby column, and add my own brand of advice. I started by calling it Dear Crabby, but that's taken and JERKASS seems more fun.