I hate to wade into this, but I feel some of the hysteria warrants it.
I’ll preface this by saying that murder is a horrid thing, and our children do need to be protected against that.
There are approximately 25 million high school students in the US right now (it is lower than that, but I’m also including and private schools which for some reason are treated as a different stat).
In all of the school shootings (CNN alleges 17, though that could be greater or lower depending on the criteria; the FBI cites a mass shooting as having more than four victims.  Chicago has nothing but mass shootings outside of schools), there have been roughly 20 deaths.  But I’m going to go ahead and pump that number up to one thousand.
Statistically that means that the total deaths caused by mass shootings to teenagers comes out to 0.00004%.
Some would say that number needs to be zero, and I would like to agree.
What is killing teens more and more is texting while driving. 
However I don’t  think gun control is going to be the most logical way to do that.
Some people will trot out Australia, and how their gun violence has gone down.  And it is true…their GUN violence HAS gone down….but their violent crime rate stayed the same.
What does that mean?
Well, imagine suicide was an epidemic, so they passed laws that made ropes illegal.  The statistics for rope suicides would go down, right?
Yes.  But people were still killing themselves at the same rate.  They just used different methods.
Now, I know already, some of you are saying “Well, that’s a bit of a straw man false equivalency” yet the argument will still be made “Well at least they didn’t use a gun.”
Australias crime levels didn’t go down.  Their violent crime didn’t go down.  Their murder rate stayed the same.  So how were guns the problem if nothing actually changed?
Change certain gun laws, sure.  Do background checks AND actually do them (not like the 82 times Cruz was reported to the police, and the laws that prevented his mental illness from being added to the gun registry websites used for background checks).
But a criminal, by definition, does not obey the law.  And, law, is mainly a reactionary method.  We don’t have a “pre-crime” unit like in that Tom Cruise movie (terribly adapted from a Phillip K. Dick novel).  We could increase the punishments for crimes already committed as a preventative measure, maybe.  But what does that yield?  Should we bring back public execution as a method of behavior method?

I want a solution.  You want a solution.  We’re both coming at the problem from different angles.  Me wanting to keep my (non existent guns because I don’t own any) guns is not going to stop a school shooting.  You banning guns is not going to stop a pre meditated attack.  And even if all guns were banned there are people who will use other methods just as deadly or worse (nail bombs, home made flame throwers*, home made cyanide gas*).

We need to focus less on “taking away” or “making new laws” and figure out predictive methods.
It’s no surprise to me that out of the 27 mass shooters in the last few years came from fatherless homes.  I mainly came from a fatherless home and the most influential person in my life was Optimus Prime.  How many of my friends who didn’t have fathers loved Arnold Schwarzenegger movies where everything was solved at the end of a gun (not blaming violent movies on violent people, or even Hollywood). 

I think the shift has to come culturally, and it will take a long time.   I think that interference at early instances are our only hope at reducing gun crime.  In Canada we have lower gun crime (but still existent), and I think that is largely due to the common belief that being angry and choosing death is not a solution.  Maybe we need to move in more of a meritocracy concept, where instead of pushing the idea of violence as a means to solve our problems (as antifa, school shooters, violent criminals), we push the “I’m going to go and do better than you just to throw it in your face.”
Anecdotal time:
I was horribly bullied when I was young.  Many times, bleeding into the ground while feet kicked me and blows rained down from above, I wished I had had a gun.
I had plenty of access to guns, I grew up in a rural area.
Instead I chose to be smug.  I chose to be “better”, smarter.  I wouldn’t kill them…I would eviscerate them intellectually.  Still they called me stupid, still they called me names.
It didn’t get rid of my anger, but I feel that it was still a safer alternative.
Maybe we need to foster that.  Maybe we need to foster that “good” competition that forces us to be better people.  Maybe we need to bring back actual trophies for achievement.  Maybe we need to tell the slow kid to get moving.  Maybe we need to tell the “loser” great try, try harder so you can throw it in their face.
It may not be good sportsmanship, but maybe things won’t end with a gun.

I don’t think change is going to come at the behest of a shaved headed teenager who was in a building a quarter of a mile away during a shooting.  No matter how many people march in the streets, gun owners and sympathizers as well as the indifferent, will make more of a change while voting than throwing a concert will.
Passing laws are going to make people hide their guns, not get rid of them.  You'll turn ordinary people into criminals because of mistrust.
And who will be left with all the guns?  The criminals and "racist" cops.

Maybe that’s just me.
Send me your thoughts.  I want a solution as much as you do.

*These things are frighteningly easy to make.

I'm not a Star Wars fan at all, but even I cringed at what I heard they did in Force Awakens.  The problem wasn't that they "took risks", the problem was they ignored the rules the original films established.  Just like how the fans got angry at the prequels and their mitichlorians garbage; it went against the established rules of the Star Wars universe.
I love the epic poem Beowulf because of its amazing plot twist; no weapon can harm Grendel.  None.  Not a single one.  If you had an AR-15 it wouldn't do anything to him, he'd shrug it off.
Beowulf rips off Grendels arm and beats him with it, and Grendel runs off into the woods to bleed to death.
Now THAT is good storytelling!
In the movie, no weapon can kill Grendel.  Except the convenient magical weapon  that can.
Now THAT is bad storytelling.  It's a plot device, like kryptonite but for bad writing.
I have seen fan made films that use the source material faithfully and have enjoyed them MORE than the original films.  How can swaths of writers create entire book series faithful to the rules of the Star Wars universe and keep fans entertained, but the new "risk taking" movies can't?
That was the issue.  Not the risk taking.
Kylo Ren as an actually compelling Bad Guy, and why the Mask Makes Sense.
Kylo wants to emulate his grandfather.  My own kids used to walk around with canes to act like their great grandfather.  Many people wear things they don't need in order to emulate power.  And that's the one interesting part of Kylo's character; he is an empty shell trying to BE someone.  Under the mask he is nothing...and he knows this.  He has no tragic backstory (even the tacked on Luke murder attempt), only envy.  He has Han Solo, a famous criminal as a father, and a Princess as a mother.  He has their identity to contend with and none of his own.  His character is Envy and Wrath, both hollow pursuits towards fulfillment but dogmatically obeyed.
That is why he is an actually compelling villain.  Villains don't need character arcs.

Apparently there is a fan edit of The Last Jedi that has all the women removed.
Regardless of the polarisation of the fan edit...does it work?
The machete watching order eliminated the need to see ep. 1, and the Jar Jar edit took him completely out of the movie without affecting plot.
My question is; if the female fan edit is still coherent, is this misogyny of the fans? Or is this failure of the writers to actually include a female character that is integral? If the latter, it just proves a point...that the characters were tacked on to appeal to a narrative instead of serving a story.
Basically, did they "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the lost Ark" it? (The Germans would have died without Indy interfering, rendering him useless as a character)
Thoughts?

Some of us will do almost anything for attention...even USE A HOT ROD ASSOCIATION AND THE OLYMPICS TO DO IT!
See the trend destroying issues destroying America...you can't miss it!

Like that Talking Heads song said: How did I get here?
Once again Andy "Don't call me the Bald Canadian...seriously, like, it isn't even funny anymore and we're only two episodes in" Carleton and I can't figure out how we move from topic to topic.
And he hates Bruce Campbell.

So I've hit a few bumps here and there for building a youtube audience and for building this site.
And my editing skills are rough.  Really rough.
But I present to you the first in a regular series called "I Haven't Seen It...But I Disagree", where my friend Andy "the Bald Canadian" and I converse on a strange tangent of topics that go from the Grammys to...Hitler jokes....
Not sure how that happened, either.
Now, without further adieu;

How do you get from Star Wars to Ghostbusters?
We don't know either, but we did it!

My friend The Bald Canadian and I talk.  About stuff.  A lot.  So we decided to do a podcast/vlog about it.
The premise is simple: I do not get to see half the movies that Bald Canadian gets to....but I still have a "preformed" opinion on the subject, however ill informed.
ENJOY!

Podcasts coming shortly...until then, you have to do with youtube.

The Pursuit of Happiness.

Scott Adams, that rascally comic strip writer of Dilbert once put words into Dogberts mouth that said “You’re allowed to pursue happiness.  You’re not actually allowed to be happy.”

I’ve never been a happy person, that I can remember.  Yet people often tell me how positive and encouraging I seem.  I honestly don’t know how they come to that conclusion, because anyone who spends an actual amount of time with me finds me disagreeable.

Recently my government employers have decided that they have over paid me, and are wanting to take back the full amount all at once.

At first my thought was If I take out the right insurance policy, I can make it look like an accident, and then my family would be set, and I wouldn’t have to keep going through all this turmoil in my life.
Not a very happy response.  “It’s just money” is a nice little quip when you’re family isn’t about to end up on the street because your pay has been cut off due to a clerical error….(and money that technically I am entitled to, because 90% of the problem was a classification code that was put in wrong).

Even with all of this my phrase was (and has been in dark times) “I don’t know all the details, but I know we will be fine.”
Even with wanting to send the family off to the grandparents and wrapping an extension cord around my neck, I still held on to the concept that I could come out of this okay.
This isn’t a one time thing, however.  I have been in so many situations that seemed hopeless that I’ve ended up culturing an almost indifference to the annoying things that happen around me.  Mostly I get pissed off at bad drivers because my family is in the vehicle.  Driving alone I’m less cranky.  But a rude neighbor, a mean spirited troll calling me names, even a gun in my face, usually illicit at best a laugh and at worst a shoulder shrug.   The horrible events in my life have never forced me into a bed to sleep all day, or kept me up all night panicking over things I can’t change.

So what, if there is one, is my key to happiness?

I don’t know if I have one.  Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture thinks that trying to be happier is like trying to be taller, and that we have a “happiness set point” genetically, and we can’t move past that.  Yet he also believes that we can pursue happiness by thwarting negative emotions and fostering positive emotions, also pushed as Operant Conditioning.  This conditioning is something I seem to have internalized at some point, but I don’t know exactly where I got the idea from.


Behavior Habit 1
Gratitude.
For me this sometimes takes the form of sarcasm.  I’ll say something along the lines of “You know what’s worse than this?  The Holocaust.”  Or I’ll throw out “At least I don’t have it as bad as Andy Dick.  That guy has to spend his whole life being Andy Dick”.
Most of the time it takes the form of a quick list or litany: I have breath in my lungs, a family that loves me, working arms and legs, opportunities that I just have to look for, and bad jokes.
Just doing this shifts my attitude away from bitterness and gives me motivation.  If I forget to do it in the morning (it happens) I’m usually a total asshole.  Especially since I am NOT a morning person.

Habit 2
Confronting the Downside.
I have a metaphorical giant wolf I call Fenrir living in a cage inside me.  I take him out for walks occasionally, tightly leashed, to show him who is in charge.
How this is manifested in the real world is this: Fenrir is all the powerful thoughts and feelings (mostly unconscious) that drive my behavior.  I am a very angry person, and it has taken years of visualisation techniques to not have my anger consume me, and instead use my anger for me.  “Me”, a man, is so much smaller and weaker than Fenrir, yet I exert control over this beast.  I use the anger, rage, and futility that he tries to instil in me and put it into working out or tackling jobs or situations that I hate or are afraid of.
Fenrir whispers from his cage however, and his ideas are poison.  Whenever he brings up a negative thought or feeling I confront it with facts, taking the truth out of the context and diminishing the rest.
You’re useless!
“Prove it.”
You tried and failed!
“I did indeed not get the outcome I desired.  But what I did was better than doing nothing, and even I can’t see the end of the effects I have in this world.  Also, I learned what NOT to do.”
I sometimes take Fenrir out on other people, but I often try to do that in more deserved ways, such as playing cruel tricks on people who have done obvious and intentional wrongs.

Habit 3. 
Relationships.
This one I am not the best at.  One of the writers of my university textbooks was David G. Myers, and in his own book The Pursuit of Happiness, he writes there are “few better antidotes to unhappiness than close friendships with people who care about you.”
This is difficult for me since my need for love is akin to a cactus.  I need very little love attention.  Too much and I just get uncomfortable and annoyed.  However I do understand that oxytocin is released when people hug for more than ten seconds, and while I may not need that daily boost, I understand that my wife and family do.  I try to be complimentary (though I usually fail since it just isn’t something I desire for myself. I find it hard to understand the need for it in others).  Though I do not understand all the mechanics of the need other people have for relationships, I do still try to foster them.  Like that cactus, plants need water.  My need for water is less than others, but that does not mean other plants can live with less water.

Habit 4.
Forgiveness.
There is nothing like the fine wine of holding a grudge.  It is distilled.  Pure.  It gives the same destructive pleasure as homemade napalm.
Holding onto that napalm affects your physical as well as mental health, according to research.  (Research, I might add, that religious prophets have seemed to know for millennia…but I digress*.)
By embroiling yourself in holding a grudge, or plotting revenge, you carry your anger into every other thing unrelated to the event.  How can you enjoy playing with your children if you’re imagining punching someone in the face?  This fantasy behavior bleeds into your ego, taking the event as a slight against your personhood leading you to believe that if you do not act then your life lacks purpose which leads you into a depressed and anxious cycle eroding your connection to others.
I find this one to have been the easiest and hardest one to do.  Mainly because other people don’t matter to me very much, and by “letting” a moron make me mad, I’m giving them power over me.  What does it matter to me if someone I don’t care about hates me?  Their opinion of me matters to exactly jack shit.  Or dog shit, which I find absolutely disgusting and puts me in a bad mood, but then I just clean it up and move on.  Because there will always be dog shit, and you can’t let it rule your life, mandating if you can play in a park or run through a field.
Forgiveness moves you away from playing the role of victim and releases the power and control the offending dog shit has had in your life.

Habit 5
Choose to be Happy

My son has done this:
“Do you want to be happy?” He yells.
“Yes…”
“Then be HAPPY!” And then he runs off laughing.  He has also been known to say that being happy is walking in nature.
And he’s on to something.  Intention to happiness is the active desire to be happy, it’s consciously choosing attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness.  Going for a walk over laying in bed all day is a conscious choice to choose an endorphin reward over getting no reward.  Cleaning will get rid of that hated clutter and dirt and give you a sense of accomplishment, even if brief (I have four boys after all).  Make the bed first thing in the morning, and do it as an act of kindness to yourself.  By making your bed, you have done one thing that you know is fully completed, and it also shows you how to take care of yourself.  Challenge the negative thoughts.  For example: when someone pisses you off we often start building a case against that person (grudge) or begin to eat sweets to feel better, but that’s very damaging mentally and physically.
Instead, reprogram your beliefs; instead of candy making you “happy”, explain the truth that if it is true, then your happiness will only last as long as the candy does.  And then you’ll be back to zero.  Going for a walk might take more effort, but it will make you happy for a longer period of time.

Habit 6
Purpose.
In order to get more out of life we need to put more into it.  Or as Fight Club put it, “You decide your own level of involvement.” 
The most common type of leisure time is watching TV, which produces the lowest levels of happiness.
Active leisure, the type that helps a person to grow, does not come easily.  It requires effort and attention before it becomes enjoyable.  Once you are absorbed in a task that is important to you a state of “flow” is reached where you face challenges to your abilities.

Habit 7
Money doesn’t make you happy.
This one is the most difficult for me.  Money would provide a certain level of freedom that I don’t have, and it is the lack of money that has caused a lot of stress for me over the years.  Yet even then I still know that spending money won’t make me happy.
For some people, if they're feeling sad, shopping will make them happier because it restores some control in their lives. It's making the choice to buy or not to buy that helps people feel more in control.
The problem definitely comes when we go into debt buying things.  Then the Fight Club line “The things you own, end up owning you”, becomes readily apparent.  That couch that you bought might make you feel good for a while, but then the bill comes and you have to work to pay it off.  And then it gets something spilled on it.  Even things like vacations will have a fleeting effect if they put you into debt.
Instead, focus on experiences that make you happy; volunteering and talking to strangers are two ways that can actually make you feel better even if you don’t think they will.
Largely because they involve some mix in all of the above methods.
I don’t  often like interacting with people, but every morning I walk my children to school and talk about trivial things with the other parents, sometimes volunteering to watch their kids if they have to leave for work/other.  I get my social fill, people think I’m a nice guy, the day goes by a little more smoothly.

We are the architects of our own happiness. When our lives collapse with sadness or anger, it is because we did not build our hearts with enough patience and joy.


P.S. If you can, please buy a print from Cyril Rolando (AquaSixio).  He is a very talented artist and deserves attention.  Link in the button under the picture.





*mini rant about psychology.  I often encounter psychological research that seems to just want to supplant ideas that have been culminated in religious texts for years.  “Confession is good for the soul” is one such example.  Clergy and priests offer this for free, and its benefits are just as helpful as any $200/hr therapist

I'm over 3 thousand for this video!
WHY?
Oh, well.   I guess I found my niche?
Pump those numbers up if you want to see more of this crap...er...piss.

This last week was a bit of a doozy for our family.  My wife had her Grandmother pass away, and she needed our sole vehicle to drive out of country for the funeral.
Leaving me with four boys.
Alone.
So I did what any father and husband would do: I used my time to clean the basement, and the bedroom, and the bathroom.
Our basement has been a source of contention, with boxes still unpacked from when we first moved in, scattered throughout, piled haphazardly, blocking the path to the washer/dryer that is also under piles of laundry and various bric-a-brac.
But it is not this place that I fear I have overstepped my bounds.
You see, our bathroom is stuffed with lotions and tonics, brushes and pills (of both the legit and snake oil variety) to such a degree that I have a less than one foot cubed space for my shampoo, shaving accoutrements, and deodorant.
Three of my boys' personal grooming is relegated to a bath-time bucket, and suction cup tooth brushes.
My wifes' items fill three shelves, two drawers, and most of the medicine cabinet.
So I took EVERYTHING that hadn't been used in at least six months and put it into a giant Rubber Maid container to be sorted through in the near future (near being ASAP, since if it sits for too long I'm going to be tempted to just put it all into a trash bag this coming Thursday... Garbage Day).
My reasoning is that, well, most of the stuff has either not been used in a long time, has never been used, or we just flat out don't need it.  I don't know why we need ten different shampoos, since the only ones that get used are in a shower caddy.  I don't know why we have antibiotics from two years ago.  I don't know why we have thirty bottles of different nail polish when my wife doesn't paint her nails.  I didn't do this out of malice or anger (though definitely frustration), but because I want a nice, organized, and fresh start for her to come back to.
But I'm sure I went ahead and shot myself in the foot.  After reflection I've come to the conclusion that my enlightened attitude may be seen as a personal attack on her....and that you should never really touch a woman's beauty hoard (also something I find puzzling, since I think she's beautiful with or without the lotions and oils and de-oiling and exfoliate stuff.  I also think she's pretty).
So this may be my last post, ever. 
Honey, if you are reading this I am very, very sorry.  I would like to mention that while you were gone the children were mostly fed and dressed "okay", and the laundry was folded and put away (except for todays), and the basement is a lot cleaner and the grass was mowed and the dishes were done, and and and....

Good NIGHT EVERYBODY!