DEAR JERKASS: I just found out my husband was arrested for being with a hooker. My in-laws (whom I love and adore) bailed him out of jail. No one said a word about it to me. I don't know how to confront all of them with the fact that I know about this "dirty little secret." What should I do? -- BETRAYED WIFE
Did this happen before or after you got married?
While we may quibble over details like that, and being honest about a sexual history, I'm pretty sure that shame in being caught in an illegal act like that, and the feelings of protecting someone, play very heavily into this.
If this happened before you got married, it is still wrong for different reasons. He probably got checked for STI's, came out clean, and telling you he had no infections was as good as he needed to get. After all, there are a lot of women who hand it out for free and have far more diseases than a hooker. His transgression is in not being honest with you. As far as the in-laws are concerned, from a legal standpoint they could not have told you, from a moral obligation they could have put pressure on their son to tell you, but it would still not be their place to tell you. If it was me, I'd tell though. I like stirring up shit.
If this happened AFTER you got married: What the hell are you sitting around for? Hire a lawyer and get proof he cheated on you, get a sweet alimony, and be on with your life.
After you get checked for an STI.