DEAR JERKASS: I'm a 15-year-old girl and my favorite teacher, "Mr. Brown," is going to another state with some other teachers to start a new school. I'll miss him dearly because he is funny and charismatic.
We have an average student-teacher relationship, but I still would like to stay in contact with him and see how he's doing. Is there any way I can maintain our relationship and contact him on my own to show that I miss him? -- TEEN IN NEW HAVEN
DEAR POTENTIAL HOMEWRECKER,
I was working out at a gym and I heard a highschool girl talking about how hot her teacher was. Her friend asked her "Isn't he married?" She answered that she didn't care and was going to take a shot at him. It might have been playful banter. It did not sound that way because she went into detail about where the teacher lived, and how she could get him alone.
I went to the school and asked to talk to the teacher. Know why? My friend is a highschool teacher and it is school policy for all teachers that any time a student leaves a note on a teachers desk, or makes an inappropriate comment, they have to lock the classroom and notify the higher ups.
So I told this teacher what had happened, and described the student to the him and the principal. I made sure that if anything bad happened that this guy would be covered. All it takes is one false accusation to wreck someones career. All it takes is a dirty teacher to take advantage of a situation.
It is inappropriate for you to contact this teacher outside the boundaries of your school. He is your teacher, not a friend, not a love interest. An AVERAGE student/teacher relationship does not involve private letters or phone calls. Wait until after you turn eighteen, then look him up. Until then, go play with your Barbies with other girls and talk about jelly beans and stickers and Morgan Freeman, or whatever the hell you children do nowadays.*
*Last line taken from Stewie in a Family Guy episode.