DEAR JERKASS: For the last 10 years, my friends and I have gotten together on a fairly regular basis. We always bring potluck to share. While "Marcia" and I were assembling a meal, "Cindy" would contribute a bag of chips. We finally told her we thought the offerings were unequal, so she shaped up.
We recently celebrated my birthday at my house, and Cindy "surprised" me with a beautiful blueberry crumble cake (her specialty). I was delighted and told her I had been craving that particular treat.
As the afternoon wore on, I asked if we should bring out the dessert, but she said she wanted to "wait a while." A half-hour later, she announced she had to leave and wanted to take the cake with her. (We often take leftovers home, but her dessert hadn't even made it to the table.) When I said, "But we have no other dessert!" she said she had company coming and needed to take it with her. Then she put it in the container she had brought it in and left.
Cindy is a close friend, and Marcia and I have put up with some of her quirks. But I'm thinking about confronting her about this latest gaffe because I'm afraid if I don't, my resentment will continue to build and our friendship will "crumble." Am I being petty? -- DESERTED DESSERT LOVER
That move Cindy did was just brilliant.
I don't see why you are friends, though. Seriously. She seems a little too crafty for you knitting bags.
I know the meaning of potluck is everyone brings a dish. You know what, though? More often than not those dishes are worthy of a Chernobyl disaster. I'm always thankful for a bag of chips around at those things.
Then you and your buddy bully her into making things, and she goes and totally throws it in your face.
Cindy, my advice to you is to find different friends. Real friends don't care if you bring a bag of chips, or nothing at all. They just want to hang around with you. A friendship is what you personally bring to the table, not what you physically bring.